please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
