we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
high people should be assigned attendants
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize