so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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