Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
