i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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