Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
