last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
