so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
