My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
