We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
