he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
