she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
