His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
