my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize