What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
