Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
