Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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