did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
