Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My vagina is officially offended.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
