then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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