oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
