I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
