Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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