Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
