You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize