it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
