I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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