Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
