You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
