my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
