i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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