I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
