atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
