He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
