so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
