Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
