So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
