Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm at about main and main street
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize
