dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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