bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
