I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
