I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize