Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
