Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
