He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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