a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
