there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
