I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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