you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
