Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
