Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
