He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
