Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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