well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
