i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
