When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
