I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
