i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
