Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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