Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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