So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
