On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My dick has a subreddit
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
