yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
