If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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